Greta C. Lahr Obituary (1934

Greta Claudette Lahr, 88, of Arlington, Va., died peacefully on October 14, 2022 with her daughters at her side, as she crossed the finish line of a well lived life. She was born April 19, 1934 to Casey and Adron (Cunningham) Mars, in Lobelville, TN. She spent her early years living on a show horse farm where her parents worked: her father grew and harvested hay for horses and her mother cooked for the groomsmen. Her childhood was poor, but her early life was busy with an extended family, farm hands, aunts and uncles, a grandpa with a black eye patch, many cousins, her beloved horse Moocher and a pet chicken. She attended schools in Lobelville there until age eight, when her parents’ marriage deteriorated. She and her mother moved to Toledo, OH, where her mother found work supporting the war effort, working on an assembly line in a Jeep factory. Mother and daughter lived above a shoe repair shop, and as the daughter of a single mother working in a factory, Greta was left to care for herself, and she attended church alone as a young child. In school she became an excellent student, and a special teacher encouraged her talent for reading and writing. Her mother’s second marriage brought Greta a loving stepfather, Gary Stevens. Greta graduated from Whitmer High School in Toledo and then enrolled at the University of Toledo. There she met Jack L. Lahr, whom she married Dec. 17, 1955. She cut short her college education to set up their home near the UT campus, and when Jack graduated and joined the U.S. Navy, Greta became a military wife. She and Jack lived in Navy towns in Pennsylvania, Rhode Island and Illinois until Jack departed military service and they settled in Arlington, VA. They had two daughters together, Ellen in 1960 and Nishanka in 1963. The family lived first in Fairlington, and then they found the home they would love on 18th Road in North Arlington. Greta’s life was busy with creating gardens at the new house, parenting, and volunteering in church and her kids’ schools. In the 1960s and 70s, Greta became involved in civil rights activities and community service with the Poor People’s Campaign, and she campaigned in local electoral politics for Democratic candidates. Her church memberships changed over the years depending on whether faith was matched with action and democratic values. She finally found her church home at Rock Spring Church, where she attended and volunteered for many years. At Tuckahoe Elementary School, she helped establish the Great Books Program. Greta stood behind her convictions about racial justice by supporting school integration efforts in Arlington, and she enrolled her daughters in Drew Model School in South Arlington, a 45-minute bus ride away in a historically Black community. At Swanson Junior High, she led student groups to help reduce racial bias in school. Home life included big parties and dinners in the family’s welcoming home. Greta enriched her daughters’ exposure to cultural opportunities she herself never had as a child: music, art, theater, reading, and dance. She encouraged her daughters’ many adventures, schemes, travels and dreams, ranging from baton twirling lessons to ice skating and flying lessons and voice lessons, competitive soccer, swimming, springboard diving and theater. Most summers included two weeks at Rehoboth Beach, DE, where friends and extended family often joined. Her ashes will be spread there. A parade of dogs and cats occupied the family home over the years, but Greta refused Ellen’s pleas to get a horse. A pair of ducklings, Ferdinand and Juliet, were permitted to take up residence in the bathtub, but they soon outgrew their welcome and were dispatched to a farm after incidents of trespassing in neighbors’ yards. Greta was an eloquent correspondent in the days of pen and paper, sharing all the family and neighborhood news in long letters to her daughters at camp and college. Her life’s collection of letters to her husband and children goes back to the 1950s, organized in a shoebox. Her writing chronicles the increasingly robust life of a young woman who started out as a traditional wife who would soon leapfrog ahead of the times and expectations. In her 40s, Greta revisited her own education and career aspirations. She enrolled in American University to complete her undergraduate degree, and was the oldest person in all of her classes. She then enrolled in Virginia Commonwealth University, where she commuted weekly to earn her master’s degree in social work. In 1982, she graduated from her master’s program, the same year her older daughter graduated college and younger daughter graduated high school. She and Jack divorced in1985 but remained close and devoted friends until her death. As a licensed clinical social worker Greta began a successful psychotherapy practice, which she operated until retiring. She worked with individuals and couples and groups, including bi-racial and LGBT couples, well ahead of her professional peers. Greta’s work earned her a place on the cover of Parade magazine, which noted her mastery of early psychodrama techniques. These included groups of women or teenagers laying on the living room floor meditating to ocean sound recordings. During her life, Greta amassed a wide network of friends and nurtured an exciting, funny extended family, hosting many a fine Thanksgiving and Christmas. A strong and compassionate presence, her home had an open door at all times for anyone in need of a temporary home: relatives, teen friends of her daughters, anti-war protesters who arrived for marches with hippie clothes and guitars, and anyone in need of a place to stay for a while. In her 40s, she developed Type 2 diabetes. In her 60s, after retirement, related health issues emerged and she sold her beloved home in favor of apartment living. In 2008, Greta made a bold relocation to Great Barrington, MA to be near her eldest daughter Ellen and two grandsons. Her excitement over presidential candidate Barack Obama inspired her grandsons in their first important campaign experiences, and they treasured memories of watching historic campaign events on television with Greta. She attended her grandsons’ basketball games and school events, and adored her time with them. The Great Barrington life lasted two years, but cold winters and health challenges took her back to Arlington. In her 70s, Greta had growing needs for supportive care: she moved to The Jefferson and later to Culpepper Gardens Assisted Living in Arlington. In September 2020 she was diagnosed with renal failure, and in December 2020 she was given a six-month prognosis. She defied that and nearly every other medical prediction of “weeks not months.” During 20 months in hospice care she had periods of recovery and decline, surviving Covid-19, pneumonia and other ailments. But during these unexpected months she found quality and quantity time with her daughters and their families, and with lifelong friends. When she died she was a resident of Tysons Woods, a small assisted living residence in Vienna, whose staff provided loving, excellent care to her in her final months and days. The medical team at Goodwin Hospice brought the best available palliative and medical care to help Greta through the end-of-life transitions and challenges. Greta’s end-of-life-doula, Jane Euler, became a treasured support to Greta and a dear family friend. Greta is survived by daughters Ellen G. Lahr of Great Barrington, Mass., and Prem Nishanka Lahr (Jay Kress) of Arlington. She leaves two grandsons, Jackson Whalan (Amy Inglis) of Great Barrington, Mass., and Matthew Whalan of Brattleboro, Vt, and a great- grandson, Fynn Inglis Whalan. She also leaves her dear and lifelong friend Jody Goulden of Arlington, her former husband Jack of Annapolis, her “other daughter” Janan Lee Musa of Falls Church and the Musa siblings, and many surviving in-laws, nieces and nephews. A memorial service will be Saturday, Nov. 19 at Rock Spring Church in Arlington, at 2 p.m. A gathering will follow. Please note: Rock Spring Church requires masks for indoor services and gatherings. In lieu of flowers, donations in Greta’s name may be made to Goodwin Hospice: https://goodwinliving.org/giving/donate/ Click this link to view additional details about Greta C.'s Services: https://my.gather.app/remember/greta-c-lahr