Befiker Assefa Obituary (2003 - 2024)

We often think that when someone passes away at a young age, they didn’t get to experience all that life has to offer. But in Befeker’s case, he managed to live life fully, cherishing every moment. He was a living testament to the idea that it’s not the length of life that matters, but the depth and love with which it is lived. Befeker was born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, and moved to the United States when he was 13. After arriving in the U.S., he became an active member of the Sligo Seventh-Day Adventist Church, where he worked with the youth and media teams. There, he made many friends, some of whom you will hear from today. The sense of community and belonging he fostered in his church would later expand to every corner of his life. When he left for Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, to pursue his bachelor’s degree in Statistics and Machine Learning at Carnegie Mellon University, as part of the prestigious Tartan Scholars program, Befeker quickly became known not only for his intellect but for his warmth and genuine character. He was a member of the honors society and embraced every opportunity to connect with others, making many friends along the way. Sadly, Befeker passed away at the young age of 21 on Sunday, August 18, 2024, after a valiant year-and-three-month-long struggle with bone cancer. During his stay at Children’s National Hospital in Washington, D.C., he exhibited courage, wisdom, and strength far beyond his years. But who was Befeker really, beyond the circumstances of his illness? True to the meaning of his name, "by love," Befeker spread warmth and kindness everywhere he went. The smile he wore until the very end had an unwavering strength that brightened many of our days. Words fail to fully capture the person he was, so I will turn to the words of his friends, from those who barely knew him to those who were by his side throughout his life. Here are some of the words his friends and loved ones shared about him: His college classmate E.J. said, "I knew him from my artificial intelligence class during my freshman year. He was a very smart and humble guy." Jay, another college friend, described him as "such a kind, smart, and funny guy." Amanawit Assefa, also a college friend, remarked, "He was truly such an amazing soul." Even those who never met him, like Lwam, a friend of a friend, shared, "I never met him, but I heard so many wonderful things about him." Befeker’s university advisors wrote to him before he passed, saying, "We really miss you here at Carnegie Mellon and think of you every day! It’s not the same here without you. You bring so much joy into every space you enter and are always thinking of others. We try to emulate your character and spirit here; we hope you know that you’ve left an enormous impact." His close friend, Vivian Lin, shared a heartfelt tribute: "The world won't get to see your smile again, to know how kindly you checked up on your friends, how passionate you were about spreading the things you loved—from music to games to shows. The world won't get to laugh at your humor, your silly expressions, your jovial attitude, and your massive library of memes. Even in the darkest times, you looked on the bright side, you continued hoping, and you still held onto gratitude. I’ll always remember how you showed up to my first dance performance, cheering my name, how we fought and laughed over movies and shows, talking with you at your desk job after lab, or buying me pastries on my birthday. Thank you for being in my life. I am honored to have been in yours." Vivian also texted Befeker’s brother, saying, "Befeker cared a lot about his friends, and we'd have the best times just talking for hours, no matter where we bumped into each other. He’s the kind of person who shares his interests so passionately that you can't help but be intrigued. I loved the movie nights he hosted, sitting with him at his desk job talking about music and video games, and eventually our talks over the phone about life, random thoughts, and the future. I’ll miss him dearly." His close friend, Surafel Tsadik, also shared, "When I first came to Carnegie Mellon, one of my main concerns was whether or not I would be able to connect with anyone on campus. I was worried that I wouldn’t find anyone who could relate to my experiences growing up. But as if God was listening to my prayers, I met Befeker during my second year—a year too late if you ask me. Befeker was the first Ethiopian I met and really connected with. It was like a breath of fresh air being able to talk about all the things I wanted to talk about and having someone who understood where I was coming from. My parents were so excited to hear that I met another Ethiopian on campus; they would constantly ask me about him. Although I was a year ahead in school and didn’t share many classes with him, the times we did spend together in the Tartan Scholars Lounge and around campus were always the highlight of my day. Befeker has inspired me to always look for the good in things and to never let challenges get the best of me. I only have him to thank for that. እግዚአብሔር ነፍስን ይማር በአፀደ ገነት ያኑረው ለቤተሰቦቹም መፅናናትን ይስጥልን (May God rest his soul in eternal peace and give comfort to his family)." His close friend from college, Chuong (Chad) Truong, also remarked, "He was a kind and easygoing friend - never afraid to approach or introduce himself to others. In addition to being such a friend, he was also a hard worker who took his classes seriously, but life as something to be experienced, rather than a problem to be solved as the old saying goes. I will miss him, my friend, dearly." Finally, from Valerie, Niamh, Ciaran, and Niel—the family of one of his favorite nurses: "Dear Befeker, thank you so much for the beautiful bracelets you made for all of us. It was such a thoughtful surprise! We especially loved how you color-coordinated them. We will think of you whenever we wear them." These memories and sentiments capture the essence of who Befeker was. Even in the hospital, while enduring unimaginable pain, Befeker continued to give. He made bracelets for his family, nurses, doctors, caregivers, and even janitors. This small act of kindness speaks volumes about his character—a young man who thought of others even in his most difficult moments. In his short 21 years, Befeker showed us that life isn’t measured by time, but by the love and joy we share with others. He was a beacon of kindness, touching the hearts of everyone he met, from his family and friends to the doctors and nurses who cared for him. His smile was a light that could brighten even the darkest days, and his strength was an inspiration to all who knew him. As we say goodbye, let us carry forward the love Befeker so freely gave. Though he is no longer with us in body, his spirit lives on in every act of kindness, in every smile we share. May we all strive to live as he did—by love, as his name so beautifully means. As it says in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." Rest in peace, Befeker. You will always be in our hearts, reminding us to cherish every moment and to love deeply and unconditionally. Click this link to view additional details about Befeker's Services: https://my.gather.app/remember/befiker-assefa